Posted: December 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

That’s the question Nicky French has to ask EVERY day. Her job as being  the community association manager for Leopard’s Pointe not only puts her smack in front of some nut cases BUT – also makes sure she’s a bit leery of mankind. Wouldn’t you be after being threatened with not only bodily harm but…

In honor of not only having The Flamingo Wrangler (Five o’ Clock Nowhere) coming out in a few little days but also getting the HOT cover for the 3rd in the series – here’s another taste for you and reminder – if you think your world is nuts – just imagine Nicky’s!.


Nicky sat staring out into the parking lot. Dead tired, she hadn’t gotten home until after four because of the ridiculous stunt Patricia had played and she was cranky as fucking hell. Snagging a glance at the clubhouse she groaned. There were too many cars in the parking lot which meant she’d have to deal with more people and right now she’d just as soon kill them as talk to them. She hadn’t worked in the office since the murder a little over a month before. Yeah, she knew she had to get everything back to normal. Somehow the thought caused a wicked little laugh to explode from her mouth. Normal. Now that was the standing joke of the year. Normal in a community where her Board members kept trying to get her laid, wore bad renditions of garish 1940’s movie cast off attire and had no idea how to run a community association was a joke, right? Even though they would swear on their own version of a bible they could. Having been official doctors, lawyers and Indian Chiefs in their previous lives meant something to someone. She just wasn’t sure who.

Sighing, she gazed around the sparse room. The office at the reigning clubhouse in the community affectionately called the “zoo”. Good name for the coveted social gathering spot and especially with the recent horrific event. Yep, it was her job to fill the space with love. Love, yeah right. How do you fill a room with nothing but bad chocolate Berber carpet and stark white walls with love? Granted, the stark furnishings were new including the wooden fake melamine desk and uncomfortable chair. Nothing like an epoxy murder…correction, slaughter to turn one’s stomach and make it extremely difficult to decorate. Let alone want to work alone in the space.

It took her boss, Chris Shackelford, nagging her for almost two weeks to get her to come in and see the renovation. Fleeting wretched memories of the plump dead woman full of holes and glued up and down and all around with epoxy would forever haunt her dreams. Her nightmares. She’d lost a really sexy pair of shoes in the experience too. Nicky shook her head and tried to get the nauseating memory out of her mind. Nothing that a tall drink of water wouldn’t cure in the saucy flavor of one hot, hunky male.

Now her grin was nothing short of nefarious. Thinking about Mick St. Simons, her own private stud muffin for the night was simply delicious. Oh, she’d tried so very hard to be good and stay away from the two men who broiled her very body parts. Even though both did everything they could to be sweet and wonderful to her during her hiatus, she’d tried. Self imposed hiatus after getting too chummy with both men in what, two short weeks during the murder spree proved to be sheer hell. Jeesy weezy. Her best friend, the luscious Ruby Dettrix, continued ribbing her every day about how stupid she was and the woman’s burning words didn’t even get Nicky to change her mind. Nope. Nicky had remained true to herself and her ridiculous convictions. Stay away from the men who had done the wildest deed on the planet to try and win her heart. Her stupid decision had left her horny after barely a week. Yet nothing broke her. Until…

It was when Ruby said she’d had enough of Nicky’s…baby faced stupid antics of a teenager…and stated CLEARLY she was going after one or both of her hunky that. Now, that had gotten Nicky ass off the fence. She fought a bubbling giggle as the sounds of snarly men filtered into the room. It had honestly seemed like a good idea at the time to work at the clubhouse for a couple of hours to show solidarity to the new decorative styles. All the while the Architectural Committee was having their monthly and over heated meeting of the minds, yeah right, to go over the latest applications from owners. Wants and needs for people who already had everything.

Nicky had been forced to look at every one of the forty applications for exterior alterations for the month and the restrictive Gestapo like committee could take all night approving or denying the way they were at it. Why it took four grown men and one over grown fairy princess like two hours to decide if, no huge IF, the latest shade of begonia was okay to plant in the yard was beyond her. And why plant begonias in July? Another glance outside at the swim team warming up in their fuchsia pink swimsuits gave her the full understanding of why. People were nuts. Not just in the community she’d managed since its inception and development but for the most part… Oh who was she kidding? Hell yeah.

Nicky stared back at her paperwork trying to concentrate on anything but her growing libido. Why she’d said yes to Mick before Tyler she wasn’t sure. Perhaps Mick had just asked her at the appropriate time again. Who knew? But when he’d called and nearly begged her she didn’t take two-seconds before she barely avoided screaming yes into the phone. And it was a surprise where he was taking her too. His last sex driven words in that heavenly Australian accent were, wear something sexy above and below your clothes luv and prepare for a wild adventure. Of course after a delicious dinner. The only question you have to answer is, are you dessert? The laugh had almost driven her to her feisty pink vibrator.

Now she wished she’d succumbed to the naughty toy to relieve tension of course. Okay, so had she signed the community’s weekly checks or just drooled all over them? Grinning, she glanced down to be sure. From the distance she could hear Randall Smithers, the almost self imposed Architectural Committee Chair, arguing again with the single Board representative on the esteemed committee, Michael Bloom, the representative from Leopard’s Sanctuary. The over-priced condominium had seen more than its share of problems in the last two years. Didn’t help that there was way too much fill dirt that the builder had used or some said a faulty sewer system. She was just waiting to receive those calls on a holiday. My sink’s overflowing. My toilet won’t flush. Her favorite emergency involved a back up threatening the entire building while the turkey broiled in the oven or the crepes sat out on the counter.

No, Nicky could do without that kind of trouble for the rest of her life cause she knew she’d be the lucky manager on call to try to find a plumber. If the charge didn’t kill them all the booming laughter about when they could arrive on a freaking holiday would.

But Michael was an intelligent, witty and somewhat crazy guy as well as a snazzy little dresser. Granted, tough to say in a community where wild flowers, pink flamingos and the craziest colors not known to God or nature existed…no, not just existed. The clothes seemed to be a requirement these days. Somehow the influx of the crazy pink birds had remained after the series of Pinked murders. Oh yes, forever a community now known across the lands with a nutty serial killer by still continuing stories in all the hottest newspapers including a scathing piece in People magazine. Even after all the good and bad press, somehow she’d gotten a huge raise out of the entire debacle. And two hot men with baited breath after her.

Interesting how the naughty thought calmed her nerves for about two seconds.

Smiling, she loved the rather intense look on Michael’s face. Michael was a recent retiree from an esteemed rag in New York. The wildly dressed gay man nearly trussed Randall’s feathers every time they met. One reason Nicky adored the man. Not only a fabulous dresser but anyone who took it upon themselves to bug Randall in any fashion was hip in her book. It was at that moment she heard crazed commotion and slunk down to the desk, beating her head against the warm fake wood. Could her date time arrive any freaking sooner?

Hmm – good question – eh? Hope you enjoyed

Ciao   xxx



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